"Well, You Know, I've Been Lyin' About My Income for a Few Years. I Figured I Could Afford a Fake House in the Hamptons."

Due to a busy weekend, I've been off the blog for a couple of days. Yesterday (Sunday), while nursing a wicked hangover from back-to-back birthday party drink-fests, my wife and I, along with our friend Marty, went looking for houses to rent out in the Hamptons. Yes, I am "one of those people" who spends time in the favorite summer playground of Alec Baldwin and other annoying celebrities, with whom I fortunately never have the displeasure to interact. This has been a summer tradition for me since my ragin' single days in the late 90's and early 00's, and one that, thankfully, my wife has embraced in our 30's. When I was in my 20's it was all about the share house, where you plunk down a couple thousand dollars to share a bedroom with 5 or 6 people and spend the weekend by the pool, playing hoops and/or tennis and drinking in anticipation of the big night out, which consisted of either body shots at one of the cheesier hotspots in West Hampton, Quogue or Hampton Bays, or donning your best black shirt and spending $300 for a table at one of the swankier lounges in Southhampton, Wainscott or East Hampton. Now, in my 30's, we rent a house ourselves (with money we've saved throughout the year and help from a friend or two--I can't wait to tell my future children that I squandered their college money on vacation homes). We have our own bedroom, still spend the weekend by the pool and (when the ocean warms up), the beach, but take some time enjoy some of the culinary delights of the local restaurants or get our drink on at Cyril's and the Blue Parrot for Happy Hour and see live music at The Stephen Talkhouse at night. I've also been trying to learn to surf, which, in addition to providing some comic relief to the locals, has been a lot of fun, and makes my wife very proud to tell people she's married to "a surfer" (which, anyone who could see me out there, would know is a bald-faced lie, but I let her have her fun). There are plenty of other activities we enjoy out East (eating baked Clams at the Dock House in Sag Harbor, which Keith Hernandez will tell you is good eats; back yard bar-b-q's and beachside clam bakes, where you can enjoy cheap wine and cold beer, trips to the local vineyards to enjoy some better wine (starting to see a pattern here?), but I'll spare you the details because (A) I don't want to bore the non-East End readers (B) I may need something to write about later this summer. My only regret about spending time at the Beach, is that it keeps me away from the weekend action at Shea Stadium. I will therefore have to make up for this by going to more ballgames during the week (the 7 train is jut two blocks from my office) and by continuing to read The Metropolitans and Toasted Joe. Of course, I'll also be watching Gary, Keith & Ron describe the action (and talk about chicks), but even a 13-3 drubbing by the hated Braves is a lot easier to take when watching from the pool and sipping your Corona. BEAT PHILLY!!