"Nice Game Pretty Boy!"

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

"I can't watch a man sing a song...They get all emotional , they sway. It's embarrassing."

Last night, Kellie Pickler was voted off American Idol, thus reducing the number of American Idol finalists still alive in the competition to 5. (For those of you wondering, I would have posted a photo of Kelly, but since the Seinfeld quote referred to "a man" I felt this pic to be more appropriate). As an AI fan, I am very happy about this, as given Kelly's performances the past two weeks, she proved she did not belong, and any continuation of her completely baffling (okay, maybe not so baffling) run, would really have called the show's integrity into question.

Before I continue my thoughts, I should take a moment to explain why I (along with over 20 million of my fellow Americans) am such a big fan of the show. You see, Idol combines all of those elements, we Americans know and love--competition, the rise to glory of an unknown, music, pretty faces and, the most important element, getting to sit back and judge other people. What a wonderful feeling it is to sit on the couch with my wife every week and pass judgment on young hopefuls with much more talent than I could ever hope to have, by making snide, obnoxious comments. (Try it, it's empowering.) Add in the opportunity to see the washed-up, aging crooners who are forced to do the show each week to rescue sagging album sales by bolstering their q-factor with "Middle America" and you've got yourself a great combination of suspence, schattenfreude and unintentional comedy that makes for some compelling television.

Anyway, back to the show, as indicated above, we are left with 5 finalists--so-called "alt rocker" Chris Daughtry, who must have thought he was auditioning for CBS flop, Rock Star: INXS, crooner Elliot Yamin, who has somehow managed to combine the harsh looks of Clay Aiken and the liliputuan stature of Ryan Seacrest, the voluptuous Katherine McPhee, whose womanly phisique and penchant for forgetting to wear a bra on stage has made her a favorite of the BookieD houseold, teenager Paris Bennett, who looks like what might have happened if Jean-Benet Ramsey grew up and became a black teenager and Taylor Hicks, the silver-haried, Michael McDonald wannabe, whose claim to be 29 years old, is more specious than that of your average MLB import from Latin America. Personally, I hink Taylor's goofy "aw shucks" schtick will wear thin with the voters, and Paris just isn't mature enough to play with the big boys. Eilliot, God bless him, is a tremendous vocal talent, but will ultimately be done in by his robotic stage presence and feeble attempt at dance moves. This will leave Chris and Katherine vying for the top prize in what will be a spectacular and sexualy-charged Idol finale. Personally, I think Chris is more suited to font a band than to be a solo pop idol, but his winning would be a nice change of pace from the recent run of good, not great, in some cases mildly interesting, but ultimately forgettable Idol champions. On the other hand, in addition to her, ahem, ample assets, Katherine does have star quality evocative of another Idol winner, the only one who has truly gone on to enjoy fortue along with her fame (and who, like McPhee, started out on the chunky side and worked her way up to bona fide hotty). My prediction, is Chris in a close one, but with enough screentime for Katherine to make the trip totally worthwhile.

For much better recaps of American Idol, check out:
MSNBC's Idol Recap
Entertainment Weekly


  • Being a staunch reality-show hater, I can't really comment on the merits of your post, but I will predict that "forgetting to wear a bra on stage" will be the most-clicked-on link in your whole post.

    By Blogger Toasty Joe, at 12:50 PM  

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